The do's and don'ts

While planning your wedding there are some difficult questions you will need help to answer. To help you with answers to these tricky questions, FAIRLADY asked professionals all about the do's and don'ts of a wedding.

How do we politely inform our guests that we would prefer not to have any children at our wedding?
This is your special day and if you would prefer not to have any children running around, it is your right. According to Marius Barnard, owner of Weddings By Marius, you can say something along the lines of, 'Sorry we won’t be able to include kids because it is very formal.'
If you have guests from out of town, however, say Barnard, be helpful and provide them with a list of available babysitters.

Is it appropriate to have a cash bar or put a limit on an open bar?
Guests should be understanding about a cash bar if you notify them in advance, in the invitation. Barnard suggests supplying water, juice, wine and sparkling wine on the table during meals a while other beverages are available at the cash bar.
Hannes Loubser, Senior Coordinator at Wedding Concepts, says putting a limit on the total bar account is an acceptable alternative to a cash bar. 'Stock only brands and types of drinks that won’t see people exhausting the limit too quickly,' he adds.

We know exactly which gifts we want, but will our guests be offended by us having a gift registry?
In most cases having a gift registry is the best option, and is even welcomed by guests as they are otherwise faced with the predicament of finding an appropriate gift. Loubser emphasises that you should allow for items across a wide price range.

We already have everything we need for our house. Is it rude to ask for money instead of gifts?
According to Loubser, this is appropriate if communicated tastefully to your guests in the invitation.

How do we involve our families but still ensure it's our big day?
Loubser suggests drawing up a plan at the outset that incorporates everyone’s wishes. Try to stick to this to avoid any nasty surprises. ‘It is your day, but try to accommodate those close to you as well. Be firm yet friendly about your wishes,’ he adds.

We want a small wedding. How do we avoid insulting those we can't invite?
According to Loubser, hopeful invitees are likely to appreciate their absence from the guest list if you send out a special e-mail stating that your wedding will be a small, intimate affair and that, if your means allow it, you will celebrate the occasion with them more informally at a later date.

Is it acceptable for the bride to be a little late for the ceremony?
Although it's almost expected that the bride will be late, five minutes should the maximum because anything more is unfair to your guests and your husband-to-be. Loubser mentions that churches run on tight schedules during wedding seasons, which means there is a risk that the next ceremony might be inconvenienced if your wedding starts late.

Is it okay to enforce a dress or them for our wedding?
Themed weddings are a popular trend and will ensure that you have a well ‘designed’ celebration, but make the theme clear in the invitations, says Barnard.

Are we expected to buy gifts for our wedding party?
A lot of other people play an important role on the wedding day. 'It's a great idea to buy members of your wedding party a gift to thank them, as they go to a lot of effort to be with you and have been on hand throughout the planning stages,' says Barnard.

Contact details:
Wedding Concepts
Hannes Loubser (Senior Coordinator)
Call: (021) 426 5783
E-mail: info@weddingconcepts.co.za
www.weddingconcepts.co.za

Weddings By Marius
Marius Barnard
Call: (044) 382 3579 / 082 921 3337
E-mail: marius@weddingsbymarius.co.za
www.weddingsbymarius.co.za