More women are sharing the details of their sex lives online. FAIRLADY looks at five naughty-but-nice x-rated blogs.
A case of nerves
PSEUDONYM: Dorothy Black
ABOUT: Dorothy Black, named after The Wizard of Oz with a noir twist, is a Cape Town blogger in her early 30s. Her 9 to 5 job is unknown, as is her real name.
RAUNCH RATING: xxxx
EXTRACT: ‘But every now and then, between the glamour of the “you’re a whore” comments and the delicate strains of the porny #thedotspot background muzak [Dorothy has a space on 5fm called ‘The Dot Spot’], I have to ask myself: where’s the freaking respect man?’
Her real name is hidden behind a swathe of alternate email addresses, an active Twitter account and a blog filled with hints, clues and allusions – but no identifiable facts. ‘In people’s minds, [being a sex blogger] invalidates everything else. They think if you’re a Dorothy Black you can only be about sex,’ she said in an exclusive interview.
But what about her parents, her friends, her boyfriend? Let’s just say Dorothy Black is no Batman. ‘They’re my friends. If I’m not honest with them, then how can I feel comfortable writing about my experiences?’ she asks. Being outed might not cost her her friendships, but it could easily cost Dorothy her job – a career not associated with musings on blow jobs or research on rape fantasies. No wonder blogging gives her A Case of Nerves.
Dorothy Black on...
... men’s impression of women
‘Most saffa men seem to think that they’re in danger of being attacked by women who will be overcome with hysteria to procreate with the fine specimen of a male that he is.’
... the role of breasts in sex
‘When a guy knows what he’s doing with the boob, it can be just the most wonderful, wonderful thing.’
... sex myths ‘The myths that women don’t like sex, that they’re not sexually aggressive or sexually assertive [...] are not myths that will change by themselves.’
Girl with a one-track mind
PSEUDONYM: Abby Lee
REAL NAME: Zoe Margolis
ABOUT: ‘Abby Lee’ started blogging about her active sex life in 2004, leading to a book deal and subsequent exposure by a newspaper in 2006.
RAUNCH RATING: xxxxx
EXTRACT: ‘When I hear that supposedly around 25 percent of women never climax during sex, it makes me sad, as well as angry: surely it should be a woman’s right to always come? It bloody well is mine, I can tell you.’
Zoe’s frank descriptions and musings attracted over 100000 unique visitors a month and led to a book deal in 2006. ‘Pornographic’ is a pretty accurate description of the action ‘Abby’ describes. So it’s understandable that Zoe chose anonymity, but the British Sunday Times outed her just days after her book (Girl with a One Track Mind) hit the shelves.
Busted, to her friends, family, and past lovers, Zoe was fired from her job as a runner on film sets and forced to camp out in her parents’ home amid the media furore. Now working as a journalist, she has written a second book (Girl with a One Track Mind: Exposed). There is talk of developing her book into a screenplay.
Toy with me
PSEUDONYM: Toy With Me
ABOUT: ‘Toy with Me’ is like a book club on the internet: blunt details and no children. The starter of the blog is a ‘40-something’ woman calling herself, and her blog, ‘Toy With Me’. All we know about her: she has a family and hot flushes.
RAUNCH RATING: xxx
EXTRACT: ‘Maybe this has never happened to you, in which case, I hate you. [...] It’s not that [me and my husband] are not horny, but sometimes if I have to choose between 6 hours of sleep or sex, I choose the sleep!’
Contributors to this collaborative effort include readers, anonymous authors (such as The Kinky Jew) and regulars (like Mommy Wants Vodka).
Memorable quotes from the vodka imbibing mother: ‘I do feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear about how “awesome” other people find pregnancy sex, until I remember that “other people” also routinely have sex dressed as stuffed animals’.
Belle De Jour
PSEUDONYM: Belle de Jour
REAL NAME: Dr Brooke Magnanti
BLOG NAME: Belle de Jour
ABOUT: Ex-call girl Brooke Magnanti exposed herself (after getting three lucrative book deals and two TV shows) as the infamous Belle de Jour – call girl for a year in 2003 and full-time scientist.
RAUNCH RATING: xx
EXTRACT: ‘SD4 and I met again. I wimped and instead of doing it cleanly, over the phone, I agreed to go to dinner. Probably sending mixed messages but I am a sucker for the man that picks up the bill. Yeah, yeah, bitch all you want about me letting the side down rubbish feminist &c. but come on, I was a hooker – I get off on the man paying. It’s how I’m wired.’
It may have only been a brief flirtation with prostitution, but Magnanti’s year as an escort helped (and continues to help) pay the bills.
Back then, it was a desperate stop-gap (combined with the realisation that she didn’t mind having sex for cash); now she’s living off the spin-offs – lucrative book deals and TV shows. But her full-time job remains a research scientist. No dumb chicky, this.
PSEUDONYM: Nurse Myra
ABOUT: Set in the fictional Gimcrack Hospital, ‘Where the nurses are pretty and the doctors are pissed’, Australian ‘Nurse Myra’ has been blogging ever since her lover died in 2007.
RAUNCH RATING: xxx
EXTRACT: ‘Anyone who has spent more than a few days on Thursday Island knows the expression “Kubulah wah?”. Politely translated, it means “Would you like to have sex?”. In response to this question there are only two possible answers and both of them are “Yes”.’
After cancer took her lover in 2007, the anonymous Nurse Myra has used her blog to mourn. What can you say? Everyone grieves differently.
The blog is full of an assortment of sexually related stories, odd historical facts and weird titbits – like ‘vaginal practices in Indonesia’, her answers from The Game of Life, and information about the womanising inheritance collector Johann Hoch who married, slept with and murdered over 44 women.
Though she hasn’t been exposed, it doesn’t seem to be an issue. Her family and friends know who she is. Her blog has a ‘Friends and Family’ section that requires a password, and she speaks openly about her gay son, who must know what his good ol’ mum is up to.